Category Archives: Diabetes

Live! Laugh! Colonoscopy!

My mother was diagnosed with bowel cancer eight years ago. It was two days before the birth of my first nephew and while I was serving on a jury for a horrific trial in the central criminal court in Dublin. Thankfully her treatment was successful and she remains hale and hearty.

About four months after she received the all clear her doctor advised any of her children aged north of forty to undergo a colonoscopy to facilitate early detection of cancer if there was a familial risk.

With a speed synonymous with snails I finally asked my doctor to refer me for one this year. I thought I’d be waiting for several years considering how long waiting lists are on the Irish public health system. However my GP had other plans. He saw that I had private health insurance through work. Within two weeks I had an appointment in the new private Bons Secours hospital in Limerick.

I wasn’t particularly worried. I knew the test was merely precautionary. And two years earlier, my employer had done a free bowel screening campaign for staff. Dutifully I bagged a sample of excrement, sent it to the screening service and the results came back clear, several weeks later. A bowel screening was not a colonoscopy however. A colonoscopy is more thorough. It’s a test whereby a tube with a camera is inserted up the jacksie to view the inside of the large intestine and rectum to screen for bowel cancer or polyps that may later develop into cancer. Not exactly an appealing prospect but an effective method of screening. It was something that was a nagging reminder. Something that I knew I should undergo. But the inclination to actually do it was weak.

The letter of invitation contained a prescription for four sachets of an anti-constipation powder named Movicol; and a larger sachet for a heavy duty laxative named Moviprep. One’s inners were meant to be sparklingly clean for the camera tube to do its work.

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From a distance – The Coronavirus Diaries – day 14. The walks.

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Thursday, March 26th marks two weeks since the announcement that normal life was suspended, in an attempt to ward off the horrific consequences of the Coronavirus pandemic that have been witnessed in northern Italy. Since then, the restrictions have become tighter – now only essential businesses are allowed to remain open (although there is debate over what constitutes an ‘essential business’). Thankfully the supermarket and chemist shop are categorised thus – I do like a face to face encounter. Continue reading From a distance – The Coronavirus Diaries – day 14. The walks.

‘Please alight for the diabetes asylum’

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The alarm clock this morning resembled a blood-curdling shriek. Hauling myself from my pit at the regular time of 7.30am is bad enough; but today my day began an hour earlier. Having suffered from the drearily unglamourous condition of Type 1 diabetes for forty years now; on a fairly regular basis I attend the diabetes clinic, where the doctors and nurses hum and haw at my file, make some suggestions to me and send me on my way to injection happiness. Some days before each appointment I present myself at the hospital for bloods to be extracted for analysis in time for the real appointment. Continue reading ‘Please alight for the diabetes asylum’

The smokey eyes of Midnight Murphy

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One of the deeply glamourous side effects of diabetes is blindness caused by diabetic retinopathy. This is where diabetes induced damage is caused to the retina. Over 80% of diabetics who have had the disease for 20 years or more will get retinopathy. Not all people with retinopathy will go blind thankfully. I have been diabetic for forty years since I was but a toddler. For some bizarre reason my eyesight is still intact. Every year I go to a special eye clinic where a nice woman takes a photograph of inside my eye, sends it away to a lab for analysis and issues the result. Continue reading The smokey eyes of Midnight Murphy

‘I’ve never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight…’

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I shot up in my bed, and shivered. I couldn’t see my face, but if I had been able to, I suspect that I would have been as pale as a ghost. I glanced at the alarm clock of hatred, sitting on the bedside locker beside me. It was 3.30am. I felt relieved. I had another four hours left to sleep.

Staggering to the kitchen, I opened the cupboard and selected two of McVitie’s finest digestive biscuits. I was distressed and sweating. Some sugar would help. I don’t think the low blood sugars were the only cause for my concern however. The content of my dream had been most troubling.

The dream had involved a scenario in which the leader of North Korea – murderous dictator Kim-Jong Un –  had romantic designations on me, and wanted to make me his love slave. He had been chasing me through the rooms and dungeons of King John’s Castle in Limerick City, demanding that I requite his love. Continue reading ‘I’ve never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight…’