I have stepped into the twilight zone. Very strange things are afoot.

This morning started routinely. I trudged to the bus stop in the dark, with the rain falling sullenly onto my spectacles; the cars seeming to revel in driving through the muddy puddles to give a fashionable new mud splattered pattern to my coat . My mood was quite good though. It’s Friday and I was not fully awake. I wasn’t quite sleepwalking but by no means was I firing on all cylinders.

I eased myself into the coming day, on the journey here. It wasn’t a gentle easement. The Spanish woman with the roaming elbows was my chair-mate this morning. She was having a passionate discussion with some poor unfortunate. I say unfortunate, because she was speaking with the rapidity and consistency of machine gun fire. There’s no way anyone could get a word in edgeways. Unless of course  her conversation partner was babbling concurrently, and both parties to the chat were lost in a relentless existential spiral, both talking for their lives, but neither one being heard.

I have no idea what they were talking about. It sounded juicy however. Accusations were certainly being made.

I arrived at the door to my building. There was tinsel draped over the palm tree at reception. It all looked very cheap and tacky. I loved it.

The security guard was costumed in a reindeer patterned sweater. He looked embarrassed. Although clearly he wasn’t. No-one was forcing him into that monstrosity. If he had been wearing his standard issue uniform no-one would have judged him.

I climbed the stairs. Someone had been busy overnight – there was glitter and decorations everywhere.

And horror of horrors, low level Christmas music was playing.

I was instructed that if I wanted to partake of my morning bowl of gruel and boiled egg that I’d better get moving. The canteen was closing early to allow the catering staff to prepare for roast turkey and ham dinner that was being given out to the staff this lunchtime.

And work finishes early. Tonight is the staff Christmas party. Which is conveniently located at a venue very close to my house.

I will be in attendance. Carefully monitoring my intake of fun drinks. Caution is advised. This evening certain  married folk will forget their wedding vows for a fumble in the cloakroom. Undying love will be declared. Unwanted (and some wanted) advances will be made. The truth will be told. And sometimes the truth is ugly.

I want to witness it all. But not to participate. I am far too dignified.

Happy Friday.