I am being very high powered this week.
After the long weekend I arrived at work in a stupor of despair at 9.15 on Tuesday morning. I logged on to the message that my all day training course had started fifteen minutes earlier. I felt the blood draining from my face. I knew there was something important that I was forgetting that morning as I pressed the snooze button for the third time.
I put on my serious face and went to the boardroom and entered confidently, apologising profusely about an unavoidable work emergency. I hope my tone of voice implied that not only my job, but everyone else in the room’s job was dependent on me taking this imaginary, emergency call.
So serious did I sound, that I almost convinced myself. I am not sure whether anyone else bought my excuse however. Although I am fairly certain nobody really cared.
There followed a scintillating discussion on process flow mapping, and deep-dive root cause analysis. I maintained my serious and interested face all morning. Meanwhile in my head I was thinking ‘Beige, would beige be a good colour for the bathroom?’
Inadvertently the trainer revealed he was diabetic when he adjusted his insulin pump beneath his jacket. To an untrained eye it looked like a wallet, but I knew better. At the coffee break I sidled over and casually enquired what time lunch was at, with the reasoning that I needed to know what time I could take my injection. His eyes popped wide open and he told me that he too was pancreatically impaired. We diabetics have an instant siblinghood, so the rest of the day I concentrated and focussed and gave him an excellent rating in the feedback form. You have to, really.
Then came yesterday. I had an appointment at the Driving License Centre at the end of the day. I had all the necessary paperwork to acquire a provisional driver’s license. Or so I thought. The completed form, the eye test, medical test, passport and a copy of my lease as proof of address? Check, check, check, check, check.
When I produced the lease the dude behind the counter’s face positively lit up.
‘Oh we can’t accept that, we need a utility bill as proof of address.’
‘Ah OK – can you let me print one off from your computer please then?’
‘Oh no, we are not allowed to do that’ he said, his lips pursed in disapproval, as his hands rested protectively on his keyboard?
‘Well can I show you an electricity bill on my phone then?’
‘Oh no, we need a physical copy’
‘Is there an internet shop in this shopping centre, do you know, where I can go print one?’
‘Oh no, it’s 16.55, we’ll be closed by the time you get back.’
It was all very Carol from Little Britain. I almost hoped he was going to snarl ‘Computer says NO’ at me.
As the requirements are that medical and eye tests must be performed within the previous 30 days, I will be getting another eye test this weekend.
Never leave things until the last minute kids. It’s bad for the soul.