Tag Archives: Lagos

Nigerian wedding – chapter 2

Continuing the tale of an Irish man marrying a Nigerian woman in her home town of Ibadan, Nigeria as told by his brother. Read chapter one at the link: https://midnightmurphy.com/2023/06/21/nigerian-wedding-chapter-1/

Friday 16th June – introduction and engagement

On Friday morning I dressed myself in the blue ankara that had been supplied to me. Ankara is a style of clothing that prints traditional Nigerian designs, patterns, and symbols on cotton using a wax-based process. Mine was a kaleidoscope of blue. We drove to T’s parents’ house where we were formally introduced. Part of this involved me prostrating myself on the ground in front of T’s Dad to show respect and humility. I had practised this the night before. The wisest advice came from T’s brother who sagely informed me ‘Listen you end up on the floor – you can’t miss really’.

Male church outfit

A quick trip back to the hotel to change into the engagement agbada. Agbada is a four-piece male attire found among the Yoruba people of Nigeria (T’s family are Yoruban). It consists of a large, free-flowing outer robe a knee-length undervest, a pair of long trousers and a hat. It was a stunningly beautiful set of garments that witty, online commentators at home said it made me look like a bishop. I didn’t care – I loved it. The outer robe was made of heavy tweed which in the 32 degree heat (with 80% humidity) was quite uncomfortable. As we arrived at the engagement hall we were welcomed by a drummer band who loudly announced our arrival. T’s sister handed each of us a wad of Naira (Nigerian currency) to appreciate the musicians and MCs as required.

T’s parents were seated on a sofa on a slightly elevated stage at the top of the hall. C and I along with some of T’s family friends danced to the sound of an African drumbeat up the aisle where we were assigned a sofa facing T’s parents. I had to lie prostrate again in front of T’s parents to show respect.

Enter D who along with his best man, danced up the aisle to the same rhythms.

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Nigerian wedding – chapter 1

In October 2021, when it appeared that the worst of the coronavirus pandemic was over, my brother D, and his fiancée T – who met in college in Ireland and who now live in the United States – announced that they were getting married in January. This was later than intended because of the pandemic. The location was the bride-to-be’s hometown of Ibadan in Nigeria. Ibadan is the third largest  city in Nigeria with a population of six million people. Home to Nigeria’s first university, it is located approximately two hours drive north of the  coastal capital Lagos. My family and I were thrilled and a group of six of us confirmed our interest in travelling – flights were purchased and planning got underway.

Except then the omicron variant arrived in all its toxic glory, which scuppered the wedding plans. Further lockdowns and restrictions in travel meant it would be impossible to proceed with the ceremony in Nigeria. Instead the couple travelled to Puerto Rico for a beach wedding with just a couple of witnesses. That was the end of our glorious African adventure, we thought.

One year later – in January this year – while I was lolling about like a sack of meal, beside the swimming pool in Tenerife, I received a text to say that the bride’s family intended to hold the traditional Yoruba ceremony in June and I was invited. I instantly accepted – this was a chance of a lifetime to see my brother get married in such an exotic location. Unfortunately the number of interested Irish passengers had dwindled in the intervening year, and my sister C and I were the family representatives that would be travelling.

We arranged our visas and vaccines in advance of travel (the yellow fever vaccine is the only compulsory vaccine but I also took the recommended tetanus, polio, diphteria, hepatitis A shots. A pricy but probably wise precaution.)

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